Day 100 - Nigh Nigh 100 Days Of Alfred

Well, it's the end of the road.
No more cat stalking.
So it feels apt that I don't stalk him for his last photo.
I woke up and found him in this position.
Since I had the camera by the bed I could easily take the photo.
And my goodness doesn't he look absolutely totally and utterly adorable.

Thanks for being the subject of my project Mr Alfred Mao.
You're a good cat.

Day 99 - Rub it in my face Mao

Alfred loves getting pats from his two legged daddy.
I think he enjoys it more when he knows I want affection from my two legged husband.
Cats are evil like that.

Day 98 - Poor Unsuspecting Mr Mao

At this moment Alfred is looking adoringly at his two legged Daddy.
Not knowing that in mere minutes we will deflea him.
He hates being defleaed.
He skidaddles out of here the moment we finish doing it.
And only returns when the need for love overwhelms him.

Poor Mr Mao.

Day 97 - Philosophical Mr Mao

I wonder what Alfred thinks all day.
Who am I?
What am I?
Who are they?
What are they?
Are our lives and souls entwined?
Or are well all but legged things passing in the light and sometimes night?
Was I always this furry or was I not furry in a life previous to this one?
I think I have a good life but perhaps I do not?  Perhaps my life could be better?
Do I really want to know?

Or maybe he just thinks ...
Hungry.
Tired.
Hungry.
Grumpy.
Hungry.
Need love.
No love.
Grumpy.
Hungry.

Day 96 - Assuming the Position Alfred

In summer Mr Alfred Mao moults like a mofo.
So The Husband likes to brush him daily to assist with the shedding.
After a while Alfred starts to believe that this dehairing is mandatory so when he sees us he adopts the position.
Which I promptly ignore.
He's cute.
But he's not that cute that I want to be his slave ... all the time.

Day 95 - Sleeping Soundly Mao

I woke up this morning to find Alfred asleep on the bed.
I did pilates.
Came back, he was still asleep.
I had a shower.
Came back.
Still asleep.
I cleaned the lounge.
Came back.
And he was still asleep.
At that point I thought 'shit, he's dead!'
Then he stretched, repositioned himself and continued to sleep.
My little sleeping beauty.

Day 94 - Merry Mao

The Christmas tree is in the spot where Alfred's chair usually sits.
What's a cat to do?
Sit on the window sill of course.
Not as comfortable, but it's a whole lot of fun making us humans pull the shade up and down as he desires.

Day 93 - Mao In Profile

I don't have a lot to say.

I just think Mao looks beautiful in this picture.

Such an elegant puddle gut of a cat.

Day 92 - My cat loves KFC

Tonight we thought we'd treat ourselves to a bit of KFC.
Alfred thought he'd treat himself to some of our KFC too.
Alfred thought wrong.

Day 91 - Mao On The Trot

I went to take my daily picture of Mr Alfred Mao.
He trotted away.
I trotted after him.
He trotted away some more.
I trotted after him some more.
Then I got sick of trotting after him and just jammed the camera in his face.
Hot to trot.

Day 90 - A Mao By Any Other Name

It's a sad fact that Alfred didn't know his name for years.
I think it's because he was called Tinky or Winky or something for the first four months of his life.
Then we adopted him and quickly gave him a name that befitted his haughty nature.
Now whenever he's being particularly mao-y we just call his name and he shuts up.
For a second.
Like the one below where he was maoing for food despite having some in his bowl.

One blissful second.

Day 89 - A Huntin' Mao Will Go

Something caught Mao's eye while he was getting his nightly brushing.

It took his eye so much that he ditched the brushing for some scouting.

Which lasted a good 20 minutes.

It was really cute too, he kept batting at nothing.

Does that mean he's going mental?

Ah well.

He can join the club.

Day 88 - Lazy Me Lazy Mao

Alfred Mao and I have spent the day mostly being lazy.
Mostly I'm on the couch.
Mostly he's on his seat.
Once he was on the couch with me and we both had a nap.
Inbetween those times we've been busy.
Me cleaning.
Him prowling.
Now we're both on our thrones again.
And it's from my throne that I took this picture of him on his throne.
Where it was his turn to clean.

Day 87 - One of the Girls Mao

Tonight some friends and I watched Bridesmaids.
Good movie.
Enjoyable.
Alfred watched it with us.
Actually Alfred watched us watching it.
A little unnerving.
He's not watching us here.  He's watching nothing.
Also unnerving.

Day 86 - Watchdog Cat

Who needs a dog to take care of you when you've got Alfred.
He sleeps whilst other cats cockily walk past the front door.
But the moment an imaginary animal comes along he races to the door and peers out with all the intensity of a young boy looking at his first porn magazine.
Maybe he's a sensitive and is looking at the ghosts of cats.
Or maybe not.
Maybe he's just trying to trick us into thinking he's worth keeping around because he's alert to the smallest danger, rather than the medium sized dangers.
Yeah.
That's gotta be it.
Good Mao.

Day 85 - All Innocence Alfred

I love this picture of Alfred.
You wouldn't think he'd ever done a bad thing in his life.
Never attacked birds.
Never taken a swipe at his human-cat-mother.
Never spent too much time licking his bits.
I wonder if cats can go blind from doing that?

Day 84 - Back to the Past Mao

Hmmm.
I seem to have left the machine that makes the Mao appear on the screen at work.
So today I shall put an old photo of Alfred up ...

Right, let's have a poke round ...

No.
No.
Maybe.
Hmmmm,
Ah yes ... I like this one.  Model Mao.

Day 83 - Mao the Menace

I had to really stalk Alfred for this photo.
He kept moving.
On the deck.
Off the deck.
By the door.
Away from the door.
He'd look at me.
Then turn around.
Finally I snapped a picture.
Then the little bugger took a swipe at me as I walked away.
He sure showed me.

Day 82 - Alfred in Denial

I like to sleep with my pillow over my head so the monsters don't see me.
Yes I'm a grown woman but I've carried this childhood belief over into adulthood and I'm sticking with it.
Clearly Alfred has a similar theory.
If he squeezes his eyes shut the annoying woman with the slim rectangular box will stop paying attention to him.
Clearly Alfred is wrong.
I'm not though.
Pillows over the head really do act as an invisibility cloak to the beasts that lurk in the night.

Day 81 - He talks to Catty Angels Mao

I like this photo.
It look like Alfred is having a conversation with a catty ghost.
He isn't.
He's just in mid yawn.
Sorry to burst your supernatural bubble.

Day 80 - Shining Angel of Love Alfred

I've gotten over Alfred's evil need to kill.

He's back to being my shining angel.

See he's got a halo.

Sorta.

Day 79 - Alfred the Ponderous

Alfred is sitting alone on the floor looking ponderous.
I doubt he's thinking about the death of Murtle Turtle Love Dove.  Or about Murtle Turtle Love Dove's partner who'll be out there somewhere feeling bereft.
Poor wee poppet.

While Alfred is cute and I still love him, today I feel tinged with sadness due to the death of the feathered one.

Day 78 - Alfred the Shunned

We came home today to find the feathers had been flying.
Not the fur.
Feathers.
Alfred had hunted a bird.
We were most unimpressed, and it wasn't just because of the huge amount of sweeping that would soon take place.
As usual we looked for the poor birdie.
And we found it.
Behind the toilet.
It was a turtle dove.
And it was alive.
You see Alfred isn't good at killing birds, just catching them.
Mr Murtle Turtle Love Dove is now ensconced in Alfred's cat cage in the garage with water and bird seed.
Hopefully he'll get over his shock and will fly off tomorrow to find his soulmate.
Meanwhile, Alfred is shunned.

And apparently my computer is shunning Alfred too as it refuses to upload/download/lordknowswhatload the picture of him looking lonely in his cat cheer far far away from the bosom of his human parents.

Day 77 - Finally Mao!

It's 9.24pm.
I've been panicking.
Alfred has been off cavorting in the big wide yonder and I was beginning to believe I'd be photoless today.
Mainly because it's bedtime and I wasn't going to stay up and lose beauty sleep for the sake of a project I'm quickly tiring of.
Oh look.  I'm grumpy.
Tired and grumpy.
Anyway, Mr Alfred Mao came in.  I quickly snapped a shot of him.  Then he left again.
Right, I hear the siren sound of my bed calling.
Night night.

Day 76 - Lazy Day Mao

I was off sick today.
And for the record I'm sick of feeling sick.
It sucks.
What I witnessed today while lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself was my cat sleeping.
And sleeping.
And sleeping.
Eventually he got up and moved to the floor where he let me take a picture.
Before sleeping some more.

Day 75 - Rooooooarrrr Mao

Oh who am I kidding.
Alfred isn't roaring like the fierce mao I wish he was.
He's yawning.
And now he's sleeping on my lap.
Bless.

Day 74 - Alfred's Got A Brand New Bag

Today Alfred's grandparents came for a visit.
And instead of running away and hiding as he usually would he took an interest in his grandma's bag.
He started trying to eat it.
Apparently fancy vet food just doesn't make the cut for culinary excellence anymore.

Day 73 - Mao says 'Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting'

We dared to leave the house today to attend an event.
We returned home.
Alfred is giving us the silent treatment.
Sort of.
He maos in expectation of love.
We go to show affection.
He runs away.
That's no way to fight Mr Alfred Mao.

Day 72 - TGIF Alfred

I used to think cats don't know what day of the week it is.
But sometimes I wonder.
Alfred only sleeps in on the weekends.
And he is particularly sleepy Friday nights.  We both are.
If only I could convince someone to feed me and water me and pat me on demand.

Day 71 - Cuddleluffagus Alfred

Alfred is not fond of being picked up and cuddled.
Even when his favourite human does it.
We do it anyway.
We're evil like that.

Day 70 - Paw Paw Alfred

We often joke about how poor Alfred is.
Poor Alfred he has to live in a home with two people who love him.
Poor Alfred he's forced to eat expensive food from the vet.
Poor Alfred he gets to sleep on a King sized bed and sometimes in a King sized bed.
You get the picture.
But to be honest the only thing remotely poor about Alfred are his paws.  They're just not that good at catching animals.  Poor paw Alfred.

Day 69 - Twilight Mao

While Alfred does enjoy the depths of night he's not a Twilight Mao as in a vampire cat who sparkles in sunshine.  Although he does sparkle when he comes in after it's been drizzling.  Pretty.
No Twilight Mao is so named because it's twilight.
Simple really.

Day 68 - Alfreeeed!!!

Alfred was in no mood to have a camera shoved in his face this evening.
He kept turning around and showing me his date.
Which considering what he showed me yesterday I was in no mood for.
I considered taking a picture of his date to share with the world but that would be cruel.  I'd hate for someone to take a picture of my date and post it on a blog.
So I had to resort to putting the camera in front of his face away from me and clicking furiously in the hopes something would work.
It kinda worked.

Day 67 - Close up and uncomfortable Mao

Today I saw something no cat mummy should ever have to see.
I saw Mr Alfred Mao's catty peen.
It was like walking in on your son doing what teenage boys do in their rooms.  Alone.  *shudder*
I don't like invading my cat's privacy.
Even when his privacy is in the brightly lit spacious confines of our lounge.
And I don't think Alfred likes me invading his privacy either.
I think that's why he looks a bit uncomfortable in this photo.
Which was taken about six hours after the incident.

Day 66 - Snugglepuss Mao

I've been spending an inordinate amount of time lying on the couch lately.  It's been very nice.
Alfred has taken to joining me on my regular sit-ins/sleep-ins.
This afternoon I woke to find his paws pulling down the blanket which was huddled over my face, he then placed his paws upon my face and we both went to sleep.  When I woke up again I called to The Husband to take a picture, but Alfred got off the couch as soon as he heard him coming.  (I suspect Alfred feels guilty that he's spending so much time with his second favourite human and doesn't want to hurt his first favourite human's feelings)
The Husband is now back in his workroom doing work.  And Alfred is back on my lap napping.  All is right with my cosy couchy world.

Happy.

Day 65 - Not now Mao

I nearly forgot to take a picture of Alfred today.
But then he jumped up on me and I thought 'here's my moment'!
And he shoved his date in my face before settling down facing the other way.
I had to say his name a lot, but eventually he gave acknowledged me.
Barely

Day 64 - Silent Staring Mao

Is Mao meditating in the garden?
Is Mao thinking deeply on the wonders of the universe?
Is Mao staring at a bug and pondering if he's fast enough to catch it (probably not cause the little guts has put on weight despite us feeding him diet food)?

Day 63 - Patient Mao

Another post about Alfred wanting food.

What a surprise.

The difference is that this time he wasn't demanding it.

He was just sitting nonchalantly by his feeding post every now and then shooting me a look hoping to capture my attention.

Which he did.

But I still didn't get up to feed him.

I waited til his cat daddy came along and I made him do it.

Now I pose this question, who is the master of the household?

Day 62 - Worshipping at the Human Altar Alfred

Alfred loves his human dad.
However I like to think he loves me the best.
But it's time like these when I catch him at his human dad's feet gazing up at him adoringly that I know in my heart of hearts I'm deluding myself.

Day 61 - Trick or Treat Mao

When Alfred wants more food he tries to trick us.
He pretends he's starving.  And lies down right in the middle of the floor looking starved.
If we're smart we'll ask each other if he's been fed.
Tonight we were smart.
Trick or treat Mr Alfred Mao.
You Trick.
No Treat.

Day 60 - Sunday Sleep In Mao

I woke up this morning to find Alfred rocking his cuteness down the end of the bed.
It's weird, he doesn't sleep in during the weekdays but he does on a weekend, it's like he knows that's what weekends are for.

Day 59 - Munching Mao

Despite having food in his bowl Alfred demanded more.
So naturally being good slaves we complied.
And he didn't even look grateful.

Day 58 - Mao on the Prowl

Gosh, after 58 days I can't be sure if I'm repeating the titles of my blog.
Oh well.
Anyway, Alfred was out and about this evening and I decided to try and get a picture.  He moved a lot.  Anyone would thing the little fame whore was camera shy.
But eventually I got the million dollar pic, a good pap always does.

Day 57 - Be Still My Heart Mao

I decided to heave my old body off the couch to get some water and found Alfred lying stretched out on the floor looking completely adorable.

That is all.

Day 56 - Call him Loyal Mao

Here is Alfred sitting by a door.
Not just any door.
But his Masters door.
Behind that door is my husband, working on his many projects.
And Alfred knows to not to disturb him when he's busy so he waits.  And waits.  And waits.
Somewhere a little cat waits and hopes that one day his Master will leave his room and deign to show him love and adoration and other stuff.
Yep, Alfred waits.

Day 55 - Blissed Out Mao

When the weather heats up Alfred moults like a mo-fo.

You pick him up for a cuddle and you put him down with half his fur attached to your clothing.

To combat this The Husband (mostly) or I (rarely) comb Alfred every day.

And Alfred loves it!

It's like cat crack.

And when we come home he maos at us until someone gives him his fix.

So we do.

We are such enablers.

Day 54 - Mao Stalking

Alfred was being cute.  Yeah, I know, what a surprise.

So I raced inside to get the camera and he'd disappeared. 

I then spied him by the garage, moved up to him, and he raced into the neighbour's property.

It's so unfair he can just wander into any neighbours property any time he wants.  If I did that I'd end up in trouble for trespassing.

Day 53 - All Black Alfred

What a night.
The All Blacks beat France to win Rugby World Cup 2011.
By george.
Alfred dressed up for the occasion.
In a coat of black fur with white socks, boots and a bib.

Day 52 - Afternoon Ablutions Alfred

When humans wake we perform our ablutions.
When Alfred awakes.  In the afternoon.  He also performs his ablutions.
But unlike we humans he does it in plain sight.
It can get graphic.

Day 51 - Rub Me Up The Right Way Mao

Whenever Alfred wants food he hangs around the pantry.
And when he sees you he starts rubbing his cheek up against the corner by the pantry.
It's super cute.
I think it's a kind of catty hypnotism because whenever he does it I end up feeding him.

Day 50 - A Shining Example of Cattiness

Whilst doing the dishes I spied Alfred on the fence.
So I made like a cat and stalked him.
As usual he saw me before I could steal a picture from him.
I swear he's got spidey sense.